Sabrage how to open champagne with a shovel

How to open champagne with a shovel:

Ingredients:

1) sparkling wine w champagne-style cork;

2) two hands + arms;

3) heavy sharp(ish) edge.

Method:

A) hold wine bottle at base and turn to find seam in glass that will run from base to spout;

B) point seam upwrd

C) point bottle neck away from yourself and friends;

D) hold heavy steel instrument like you’d hit a backhanded backspin with a tennis racquet;

E) lay heaviest part of blade alongside bottle, about halfway down, pointing sharpest edge up toward neck;

F) settle;

G) thrust forcefully upward & stroke glass ring just below cork…

Et voilà!